memories of Stan

Memories
Read the memories posted below.

LauriBeth --- 2009-11-16 05:03:48
What I valued most is that when I took an issue to Stan he did not treat it as a problem but as an opportunity. His attitude made him a delight to work with and It is my hope that I can to live up to the standard he set. I will always treasure the wisdom and joy he brought into my life.

John Ringler --- 2009-11-16 08:31:11
CJ and I were shocked to hear that Stan is gone. He was someone always there for anyone and everyone. He had a very positive influence on countless people, both within the church and far beyond. The World will be a lesser place without him.

Jane Millar --- 2009-11-16 09:15:33
His remarkable optimism, his incredible knack for saying just the right thing, for providing the exact measure of support asked, his visible delight in teaching and sharing his innermost, vulnerable self, always . . . I've never known anyone like him. I'm thankful to have known as much of him as I have. I'll treasure moreso my drum that he taught me to make.

CJ Ringler --- 2009-11-16 10:11:02
Always smiling, always warm and genuine, Stan will remain in my memory as one of the kindest men I've ever met. The good he has brought out in others will remain in the world as a testament to him as he was an extraordinary role model for us all.

The Reverend Betty Jo Middleton --- 2009-11-16 10:51:24
Stan was a valued colleague; he will be missed by many who knew him through his work in religious education and Coming of Age programming. I send my deepest sympathy to his wife and friends.

Sian Wiltshire --- 2009-11-16 11:30:43
Stan and Carol Crow both stand out to me as the first models I ever had of lay leadership in UU congregations. Stan's openness, kindness, leadership and expansive grin modeled to me what shared ministry is all about. When I left WUUC, I found out that the Crows are known EVERYWHERE I went. Often the first words out of people's mouths were "so do you know Stan and Carol?" Stan's impact on the UU movement, the Pacific Northwest and Woodinville will, I think, not be fully realized in our lifetime, but will echo down for generations. My love to Carol who had the honor of sharing her life with this gentle and kind soul.

Donna McLain --- 2009-11-16 13:32:54
It's because of Stan's coaching and mentoring, that my husband and I are currently mentoring youth in UUCV's Coming of Age Program, "Finding Your UU Faith." Gentle Giant and "Trickster", he could teach us the greatest of lessons while we were laughing and having a good time.

Rev. Alan Taylor --- 2009-11-16 14:59:05
Stan Crow, for me, served as a colleague, a friend, a mentor, a committed parishioner, and an unflaggingly optimistic guide. When I first came to meet the Woodinville UU Church community in the spring of 1999, Stan invited me on a bicycle ride, introducing me to the bicycle paths in the area. As we rode, I was struck how Stan either smiled or offered a cheerful hello to everyone we passed. Although not everyone responded with similar cheer, I knew right away that I was in the presence of a deeply spiritual man who dedicated his life to the service of others. As the Director of Religious Education at WUUC, Stan delighted in the relationships of the young and old, finding ways to bring together everyone who is young at heart. When the congregation didn't have the funds to keep him on as a religious professional, he stayed loyal to the vision and just as committed to the community--something that doesn't happen often in churches. For four years, I had the privilege of working with Stan as a devoted member of WUUC. He had a way of buoying spirits even in the most anxious and trying of times. He gave of his time, of his skill, of his friendship, of his energy, of his financial resources. I understand that he had a similar relationship with Songaia and I imagine that he touched as many lives there. The last time I saw Stan was when he and Carol visited Oak Park. They gifted me with a set of chimes, and I often have felt that I have heard Stan's (and Carol's) spirit in these chimes, and I am sure I will continue to do so. Stan's spirit and love will stay with all he touched. My deepest sympathies go to Carol, the Songaia and WUUC communities, and all those who will deeply miss Stan.

DD Hilke --- 2009-11-16 15:01:10
I count my time with Stan in mere months. Yet, within minutes of meeting him, I knew I had happened upon a leader in love and in community. He created conversational spaces that invited and honored the participation of everyone. This is a gift I choose to make my own.

jo prussia --- 2009-11-16 15:36:39
I am so grateful that Stan was an influence in my children's lives when they were little, he was a lovely man.

Elizabeth Zinda --- 2009-11-16 15:45:33
When Stan spoke in my class at Antioch University about rites of passage, my soul heaved a sigh of relief and my heart swelled in gratitude. Since then I have been honored to experience and witness the soul-nurturing work of Rite of Passage Journeys. I have been delighted as well to the beauty of the Songaia community. I can only imagine how he has contrubuted to the richness of the spiritual community of your church. I am holding Carol, all of Stan's family, church family, cohousing family, and Journeys family in my heart and prayers. May all who love and mourn him find comfort in shared memories and gratitude. Blessings to Stan on his Spirit Journey.

Leanne Todd --- 2009-11-21 18:53:41
Stan was there as a mentor and friend as I grew into the woman I am today. His friendship was a blessing and I will miss him dearly. He always greeted me with a smile and even in the most stressful times of my life, reminded me that the universe will provide balance if I just let it. The wisdom and compassion he had for people, especially younger generations, will be missed greatly. My love and compassion go out to Carol, the Crow Family and WUUC during this time.

Tony Cantrick --- 2009-11-22 12:36:23
Stan was an inspiration to me in so many ways. As others have already noted so well, he led by example, and there's much I learned from him. His kindness, sincerity, passion, zeal, interest and enthusiasm all were so evident in everything he did, from the personal interactions to the leadership of the larger group. I will think frequently of the values he embodied. He will be sorely missed.

Kit Ketcham --- 2009-11-16 15:51:35
I am stunned to hear that Stan has died. I am so sorry to hear it. Stan was a rock of strength at Woodinville and always a person with a smile, an encouraging word, and a willingness to be helpful. He will be missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Carol and the family.

Dr. Tim Radak --- 2009-11-16 15:59:43
Stan will be remembered with unquestionable reverence and respect. In just one short part of a previous Summer, he characterized and defined the meaning of mentorship and taught me that true sharing and acts of care can and should be strived for in everything we do. In this, I carry and celebrate his spirit.

Dianne Greenwald --- 2009-11-16 16:18:52
This is to Carol (and Stan's family)....our journey encompassing most of our adult lives....rare, touching, momentary, long ago and only yesterday. I did not know Stan was ill. I do know the suddeness ...in the midst of living an illness...the moment of transforming and continuing on is still soul awakening, stunning, sweeping, all encompassing. My arms surround you in the sacredness of the next days.

Julia Simon --- 2009-11-16 16:21:34
At the 2008 WUUC leadership retreat, Stan did a timeline presentation on the history of WUUC. We were all able to add to the timeline events that were important to us during our time at church. While walking to lunch together after the presentation, I thanked Stan for telling me the history of the church. His sweet reply was “Julia, this is your history.” It was at that moment I felt more connected than ever before to my church family. I thank Stan and Carol for being true examples of what love can truly be. Stan you will be so deeply missed.

Dianne Greenwald --- 2009-11-16 16:21:38
This is to Carol (and Stan's family)....our journey encompassing most of our adult lives....rare, touching, momentary, long ago and only yesterday. I did not know Stan was ill. I do know the suddeness ...in the midst of living an illness...the moment of transforming and continuing on is still soul awakening, stunning, sweeping, all encompassing. My arms surround you in the sacredness of the next days.

Larry and Dorothy Bridges --- 2009-11-16 16:31:11
We join so many many people who have been touched by his life. He was a model of how I want to live my life. We are deeply sad about losing this incredible source of love. We are available for anything you need Carol and send all of our love. We will miss him tremendously. with love... Dorothy and Larry

Barbara Brachtl --- 2009-11-16 17:01:21
Two memories: The first is sitting next to Stan at the board meeting eight days ago -- which is probably why every time I think of him I get a profile view -- as he urged us to increase our stewardship campaign goal to make sure that we could afford a minister next year. He considered it critical to the well-being of the church. The second isn't a specific incident but rather a collection of memories of conversations I had with Stan. I always felt he was fully, genuinely present and that he valued me and my opinions -- and he was so natural and genuine about it. It wasn't just something he was trying to do. I do think Stan lived our UU values, and was a model for me and doubtless others in that. And I sure will miss him at our next board meeting. The tough thing about death is it means he's never coming back.

Rev. Thomas Anastasi --- 2009-11-16 17:29:41
Stan was for me the epitome of the "elder". Not only in regard to Coming of Age matters, but as a human being helping to make the world a better place. I have trouble imagining the world without him. Blessed be to him and his family and to all of us who knew him. What an amazing fellow!

Maggie KImbrough --- 2009-11-16 17:50:27
Stan was a truly gentle man. His goal was to inspire people both old and young to live true to their better natures. His teching and his friendships has touched more lives than we can ever know. We will miss him, but the memories he leaves with us will continue to enrich us.

Andrea Jessee --- 2009-11-16 18:03:05
Stan always smiled and had the world's best hugs! His passion was only exceeded by his compassion. Stan approached every situation with both, never straying away from a path of love and endless kindness. He was a gentle and strong leader and such a source of comfort. There are some people who make up the soul of our church community - Stan was one of them. WUUC is not going to be the same without him, neither is the world that was around him. And yet, he left his mark in the most remarkable way everywhere he showed his amazing smile... I am so fortunate I had the honor to meet this man.

Jaco ten Hove --- 2009-11-16 18:05:40
Oh, the sadness to think of a world now missing this great spirit! But his legacy is very deep and wide, beautifully so. He was such a mentor and mensch.

Susan Buzek, Washington Ethical Soc --- 2009-11-16 18:15:41
I was so delighted to find Stan and Rite-of-Passage Journeys when we created our coming of age program. He was such a loving, gentle and encouraging man, with such a wealth of wisdom. He understood teens and human natrue so well. He was just a delight to work with. I will miss him and his wisdom.

Robin Slaw --- 2009-11-16 18:45:38
Stan's work in Coming of Age programs has and will continue to bring profound meaning to young Unitarian Universalists as they travel through adolescence into adulthood. What a legacy! You will be missed, Stan.

Brad Randall --- 2009-11-16 19:04:45
Stan had a great influence on me and on our coming of age program. I admired his words and thoughts about rites of passage even before I had the opportunity to meet him. When I did finally go to one of his trainings, I learned so much by his example - not just what works but how and why. I'm sad that others will not get to experience him in person - but his spirit lives on in all those he touched. I'm glad to be one of them.

Alaine Davis --- 2009-11-16 20:52:00
I had the great privilege to work with Stan in his capacity as Journeys' director--when he personally led several of my school's junior high retreats--and through our work together on the WUUC board for the past year and a half. He was so earnest, genuine, and deeply committed to creating good things in the world. He was easy to work with, since he had wonderful ideas but was open and willing to hear others' opinions, and flexible when plans didn't work out. We could talk, plan, collaborate, laugh, and commiserate together (okay, I would be the one complaining--but he would listen!). My life has been richer and more thoughtful because of Stan. I miss him.

Rick Waling --- 2009-11-16 21:15:11
It is very difficult for me at this time to think we have lost Stan. He and Carol mean so much to me and my family. They were more than there for me and Helen when she was dying of cancer. I cant't believe that it has been three years since then and now so near to her passing, Stan has departed. My thoughts and love go to you Carol.

Dori Davenport Thexton --- 2009-11-16 21:56:21
Stan was such a warm, delightful person. He made every person he spoke to feel like the most important person on earth. I will always think of him with his huge smile and open heart.

Natalie Mietzner --- 2009-11-16 22:03:59
Stan was a ray of light for me, always greeting me with his million dollar smile and having true interest in my life. The world is a little bit darker now that he is gone, but I am so greatful that he lit up so many other's lives that we might continue to see our way.

Aggie Sweeney --- 2009-11-16 22:06:04
For most of the past 18 years, we have had the joy of being part of the WUUC community with Stan and Carol. I was able to be a part of the Coming of Age program several years, both as one of the advisors and twice as a parent. Stan's capacity to see the strengths in each and every one of us and to help us kindle our own lights was truly amazing. It's a gift he has left with each of us. In recent years, Stan and I both served on our congregation's Stewardship Commitee, and his wise counsel and gentle yet compelling manner has helped us expand our vision and belief in what we can become. I have learned a great deal from Stan and Carol's example for how to build an authentic, caring community, and have been sheltered through my own challenges by their love. I miss Stan very deeply and honor the many teachings he was shared with me and my family.

Chick Sweeney --- 2009-11-16 22:31:23
Stan Crow – Evangelist of Hope, Compassion, and Love: Does anyone know how many t-shirts Stan had? I can only venture a guess that there are many dozens in his closet (only Carol really knows?); t-shirts emblazoned with the acronyms of WUUC, UUA, and the messages of our seven principles of Unitarian Universalism. I once asked Stan about his t-shirts. His response was “I am an evangelical UU. We have a message of hope, compassion and love that I intend to tell to the world every day.” His t-shirts, unmistakable grin, eternal optimism, and practical living example of compassion and love, and the importance of community, service, and family were outward manifestations of who Stan was as he went about his work in this world. I am honored and humbled to have known him and to have watched him give a living lesson of what it means to transition through adulthood, to mentor, elder, and sage. I miss him dearly.

Lindsay Rogers --- 2009-11-16 22:37:22
Stan Crow...what a dear, sweet man. There are some people you encounter in life you quickly realize just have some things figured out. Stan was one of those people. He had a gravity and center to him that I so admired. It's hard to imagine not seeing his smiling face at WUUC and I know we've all been changed a little bit for the better by having known him.

Sue Parilla --- 2009-11-17 07:43:01
Juat a little over 10 years ago, I traveled to Reno for Stan's introductory COA class. His wisdom has served as a template for the COA program at JUC ever since. I attended additional training classes when Stan came to Denver. I am so lucky to have been able to benefit from his knowledge and to have considered him a friend. Stan showed me the path to my ministry. He touched the lives of thousands directly and through all of us who have learned from him and pass it on to those who follow.

Beth Morrigan --- 2009-11-17 08:20:32
If ever a person exemplified living his values, it was Stan. And he lived them exuberantly. Stan has touched the lives of our family in so many ways - through his dedicated work with the WUUC community (and especially with the youth and children), his vision for Rite of Passage Journeys, his involvement with cohousing, and through the continual support and love he showed for his children and grandchildren. He was, an continues to be, an inspiration to me.

Jennifer Halperin --- 2009-11-17 11:12:03
Stan's name and memory will be evoked every time I do a Coming of Age Mentor Training with my congregation. I've used his valuable material seven times over the years and will continue to do so. He will live on through his teachings and through the ripple effect of the many lives he has touched - directly and indirectly.

Margy Rockenbeck --- 2009-11-17 13:44:30
Last night at dinner our whole family talked about Stan and what he had meant to us, memories of him, how he had affected us. We all cherished his enthusiasm and good cheer--he was just such a positive person. Bill recalled Stan's training in mentoring, which served him well in other settings, Emma had strong memories of the Coming of Age program activities and is hurting for Noah, Stan's grandson, with whom she goes to school, and I have a jumble of images of warm conversations over coffee after church. We also appreciated how encouraging he was of the church art gallery. Actually, he was encouraging of everyone, no matter what their endeavors, wasn't he? What a loss to our church family

Liz Ligon --- 2009-11-17 14:23:09
Stan had this wonderful, welcoming smile that seemed to say "you are absolutely the one person on this earth that I most want to see at this moment in time... what good fortune that you happened along!" I cannot picture him without seeing joy, warmth, love and wisdom written across his face. His partnership with Carol is a model of shared vision, shared values and shared love that gives me something wonderful to aspire to. I wish I had had more opportunities to spend time with and learn from Stan; the time I did have will forever be treasured.

Peter Wallis --- 2009-11-17 15:24:21
Stan's life and generosity were of such a stature that I wanted to post this quote in his memory: "What gives us life and makes fully human is the ability to willingly continue to live, though knowing we all must die, living to become increasingly more worthy, noble, creative, awake, and beautiful, such that our deaths in their old-age fullness at their natural alloted time become a grief-making loss to the world of such dimension as to be an elegant and complex sacrifice of sufficient density as to sustain awhile the ecstatic nature of the Divine who in the process fertilizes the flower of Now into a time of hope and deliciousness beyond our own." Martin Prechtel STAN was such a man who indeed brought hope into our world through his vision, love, dedication, and willingness to honor the nobility in each person of his far-ranging and beloved community. I join my voice with all others who will dearly miss this splendid man....Peter Wallis

Karen Brown --- 2009-11-17 15:51:21
I met Stan in Chicago where he led a Coming of Age weekend workshop. I wanted him to inspire Educators in the Heartland District - he was so marvelous. And he did come. Many educators participated. I remember driving him to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Indianapolis the next day where he attended one of our worship services. I am still using his resources. He will live on in my work in Morristown, NJ. I am using his resources in developing a new COA program. My heartfelt sympathy to his family and friends.....

Carol Poole --- 2009-11-17 20:36:45
I lived with Stan and his daughters, Nina and Karen, for two years in my teens. I'm so sad to hear of his passing, and I'm sending love to his family. He was a wonderful human being, and had a lot to give and to share. Stan invited me to lunch a few years ago and we talked about the old days; I wish I had another chance to thank him again for his caring.

Lois Kelly --- 2009-11-18 12:57:05
I will always see Stan at WUUC’s front door on Sunday morning, greeting friends and newcomers alike. Of course he always wore his big smile, offered a warm hug or handshake, and had something special to say to each person who came through the door. Stan had that very rare gift of making everyone he encountered feel that he was so happy to see just YOU, and that his attention was totally focused on you. He brought to all his WUUC relationships a joy and warmth that will forever be missed.

Jack Brand --- 2009-11-19 07:54:12
It's hard to add much to all the wonderful things everyone has written, except a big "Amen". Stan's passing has hit me unexpectedly hard; he is one of those people you just always assume will be there. It's giving me new perspective on those people in my life who are still here, and how much I cherish their presence, and how we should never take that for granted. One small thing hit me the other day: I am saddened that I will never again answer the phone to hear the cheery voice on the other end say, "Hello, Jack! Stan Crow."

Julia McKay --- 2009-11-18 13:52:49
Although, I did not know Stan personally, I imagine the waves of shock and grief that must be rippling through the congregation at such a significant loss. My heart goes out to all who hold this man dear -- may you be blessed with the comfort and support of friends and family.

Chuck Bean --- 2009-11-19 07:45:25
I don’t recall when I was introduced to Stan, if ever, but I do remember when I really ”met” Stan. It was at my first WUUC retreat at Indianola some 10+ years ago. Stan and I were paired in one of those get acquainted exercises where we were to continuously look directly into each others’ eyes for a full minute and then talk about the experience. We were both successful at holding our gaze for the entire time. Both of us remarked at how much simple affection we felt and saw in each other, which voided any need to glance away. From then on it has always been such with Stan and me, and I will certainly miss him.

Preston Kelly --- 2009-11-18 14:36:35
Stan was one of the most joyful people I have ever known. He was a teacher, a leader, a friend—a warm, welcoming, wonderful human being. There was always a smile, a feeling that he was glad to see you, always talking with you not at you, whether it was for fun or work. A problem to him was an opportunity to do something, and he was ready to help whatever it was. His contributions to WUUC have already been spelled out again and again; they were legion. His contributions to life beggar description. I will miss him, but will remain thankful for the memories.

Karyn Crow --- 2009-11-19 15:52:19
My father was blessed to have all of you as friends. Thank you for sharing your memories. He truly felt honored and blessed to be a part of your lives. Peace be with you.

Cathy Tauscher --- 2009-11-19 17:42:21
I first met Stan fifteen years ago at a gathering for religious educators, and enjoyed seeing and talking to him several times a year after that. In 1996-97, we served together on a three person task force that began the annual Puget Sound Middle School Conference. When I became WUUC's director of religious education, Stan, having served in that role himself, graciously stayed back and let me form my own impressions, and find out for myself how I could best contribute to the community as a staff person. Finally, this year, Stan was serving as Board President, and I was established in my position with the congregation, and I looked forward to frequent collaborative work with Stan. It had begun, and I deeply regret the loss of the year that could have been. Stan had much that he wanted to do as the congregation's president, and I wish that there could have been much more time for us all to explore and implement his vision.

Jan Radoslovich --- 2009-11-21 06:19:18
Somehow I thought Stan would live forever. He was my role model for all I aspire to in my life. I had the honor of Stan's friendship and mentoring for the entire 20 years as a member of our beloved WUUC community. We had many late evening phone conversations about church work (he was a fellow night owl) and I marveled at how Stan could be doing his ministry work all day long, then have the energy to continue into the evening. I dubbed him the "WUUC Energizer Bunny." I feel especially touched by the joy of being a Board member and working with Stan as our Board President over the past 6 months. He hit the ground running on Day 1, supporting our Ministerial Search Committee in getting the Search Packet completed, got the Volunteer Engagement Nominating (VEN)Committee in place, coordinated the all Church Retreat on 10/23 and was immersed in many other jobs as Board President in his final months. His only complaint was that his recent medical problems were zapping his energy. In fact, Carol put him on "house arrest" over the late summer so he would take some downtime to recover/heal after his surgery. My most vivid recent memory is at the end of the 10/23 Church Retreat, looking across the room at Stan and Carol cuddling together, laughing, singing and literally glowing in joy at the Joyful Noise sing along. A life well lived, Stan Crow. Carol and all of Stan's family are in my heart and thoughts.

Laurie Rockenbeck --- 2009-11-21 12:57:50
It's difficult to be brief about a man who has brought so much to the world. I'll admit that my earlier encounters with Stan left me a bit confused, and for a a while I thought of him as "That guy who's really into drums and sweat lodges." Over the course of the last 17 years, it has been my privilege to work and worship along side him and to gain a much deeper understanding of a man who lived a life of integrity. I can hear his voice in my head (and his voice was unique both in quality and content) saying, "Now, Laurie...," the inflection showing patience, kindness and a will to listen. I will miss him.

Brad Hull --- 2009-11-21 16:39:05
At Stan's memorial, I spoke of the thing I learned from Stan that I want to pass on to other people: his remarkable balance of all his virtues with each other.
He was wise, without being superior.
He could be serious without being severe.
He was humorous but never flippant.
He was supportive, but never intrusive.
He was always positive, yet never dismissed a real concern.
He was very knowledgeable, without being superior.
He was a leader, yet never used power.
He was well spoken, yet he was a great listener.
I want to be like Stan when I grow up.

Julie Dawe Levy --- 2009-11-22 14:12:19
My first memory of Stan is when we both attended a WUUC's New Member class in Sept of 1991. I remember that date because the Clarence Thomas hearings were going on at the time. The class was held at a room at the old Bothell Library, and although there were many others there, he's the only person I can recall. Stan had such a presence, and had a huge impact on my life and the lives of my son and daughter. Our lives were enriched from knowing him, and it's hard to envision a world without him. Our love goes out to you Carol.

Lori McConnell --- 2009-11-22 22:01:57
It's been a week since Stan died and only now does it feel like life can go on without constantly dwelling on the loss. What a gift he gave us, even at the memorial service-- so many members that we have not seen in YEARS came to the service. Even in death, he brought all of us together to experience the depth of community that he envisioned. And caused us all to be very gentle with one another.

Matthew Wesley --- 2009-11-23 10:46:20
Stan's mind was open and reflective, his heart was spacious and welcoming, his actions quiet and purposeful, his relationships were warm and transformative, his presence was embracing and encouraging, his spirit was bold and gentle, his soul was quiet. All these words ring hollow in the the light of who Stan truly was, but the gesture in them (and in all of the other words here) points to the deeper truth those of us who knew him experienced in his presence. He will be missed.

Kerrie Vespaziani --- 2009-11-28 23:43:54
My kids and I were at a birthday party last week and my son, Remy, made this comparison (Dylan was the birthday boy). "Dylan kind of reminds me of Stan...he always has a smile on his face and likes to look at the bright side of things. I like that about him."

Kathy McWilliams, UU Church of Grea --- 2009-12-03 13:54:08
Stan led a Coming of Age Leaders' workshop years ago which inspired us to create a comprehensive year-long UU curriculum which we subsequently published: "Coming of Age: Deepening Ties Within Your Congregation." He graciously wrote the forward for this curriculum which is now used in over 180 UU congregations. When I think of all the youth that have (and will) come of age in a powerful and healthy way because of his fine work, I am awed. The power of one soulful person to do good in this world should never be underestimated. I knew him for 3 days, and he changed my life.

Barbara Cornell --- 2009-12-07 13:11:38
Stan was a dear and beloved colleague. His depth, caring and kindness will long be remembered. He was so wise, about so many things. All my love and sympathy to Carol, his family and to his congregation.